Ego Observer Pillows

"...You correct me if I'm wrong only when I say 'correct me if I'm wrong'!"

Hierarchy with 'Me' at the top.

'And he thinks he's the most powerful being in the land.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"Since the promotion, my husband has gotten a big head."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Flags

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"It's his ego growth chart."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

"Are we there yet?"

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

Greek Crisis

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

'Your secondhand smoke is giving the hermit crab a hacking cough!'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'