Ego Examiner Pillows

"So basically you are looking for books on changing everyone except yourself."

'Been patting yourself on the back again?'

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"It's his ego growth chart."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

Hospital Departments

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

The Boss.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

Cat with Crown.

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

Hierarchy with 'Me' at the top.

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

As Seen On TV

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'You'll like this, sir. Instead of the usual boring bio, this year I've done your creation myth.'

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'