Ego Examiner Gifts

'The level of my tolerance is only surpassed by the stupidity of people who don't share my opinion.'

"So basically you are looking for books on changing everyone except yourself."

'Been patting yourself on the back again?'

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"It's his ego growth chart."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

Hospital Departments

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

The Boss.

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

Cat with Crown.

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

Hierarchy with 'Me' at the top.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"I think I deserve more than a stub on Wikipedia."