Ego Analyzers Pillows

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"It's his ego growth chart."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

The Boss.

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

Cat with Crown.

Hierarchy with 'Me' at the top.

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

"I think I deserve more than a stub on Wikipedia."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

"And how long till they start saying the 'Great' after my name."

'You'll like this, sir. Instead of the usual boring bio, this year I've done your creation myth.'