Ego Analyzer Pillows

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'Of course no one loves you as much as I do dear, unless you include yourself.'

Bet there'd be loads of people at my funeral, all really upset...

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"It's his ego growth chart."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

See that leg? He's dreaming of chasing rabbits.

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

The Boss.

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

Hierarchy with 'Me' at the top.

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

Cat with Crown.

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."