Ego Commentator Gifts

"King of what, exactly?"

Donald Trump Celebrating Oscar

'He's over here, in the Self-Important Person section.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Virtual Doctor

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"It's his ego growth chart."

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

Egguy JUMP!! 62 Eggs like this. Gr'Egg LOL. M'Egg OMG so funny!!!!! 3.

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Sports Radio in Crisis

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

Tree of Public Opinion.

The Boss.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Sir Patrick Moore.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

And now, for a rebuttal.

Pundits

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'