Egg-tastic Humorist Gifts

Health and Safety Humpty.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'We have three minutes left.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

Chicken: the one-man show

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

Russian eggs.

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

Easter Bunny

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

How to live ecologically without wasting power.

"Bond. Humpty Bond."