Egg-tastic Humorist Gifts

Health and Safety Humpty.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'We have three minutes left.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

'So tell me, what is it about your life that isn't making sense to you.'

Chicken: the one-man show

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

Russian eggs.

"So tell me, what is it about your life that isn't making sense to you?"

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

How the Easter Bunny Spends Halloween.

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Okay, I give up. What do you put in your cake recipe that tastes so familiar?'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

I only lay egg whites.

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

'John and Yolko.'

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

Easter Bunny

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

How to live ecologically without wasting power.

Humpty Dumpty on Break.