Egg-cellent Humorist Gifts

Russian eggs.

'We have three minutes left.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

Anti-litter by-law in effect

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

Easter Bunny

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

How to live ecologically without wasting power.

"Bond. Humpty Bond."

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

'I've been sitting on it for days and days and nothing happens!'

Egg.

Easter and Coronavirus

"These eggs are well past their sell-by date!"

"Instead of hiding them, this will be much easier."

A bowling pin shaped chicken has lined up her eggs in a bowling pin formation.