Egg-celent Humorist Gifts

'I've been sitting on it for days and days and nothing happens!'

A bowling pin shaped chicken has lined up her eggs in a bowling pin formation.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'We have three minutes left.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

Meet the layer.

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

Anti-litter by-law in effect

Russian eggs.

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

Easter Bunny

How to live ecologically without wasting power.

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

"Bond. Humpty Bond."

'We decided we wanted these back.'