Egg-cellent Jokester Gifts

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

"These eggs are well past their sell-by date!"

'We have three minutes left.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

Anti-litter by-law in effect

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

Russian eggs.

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

Humpty Dumpty and the forgotten cow.

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

'It's so hot, I've been feeding the chickens ice cubes just to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs!'

Easter Bunny

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

"Bond. Humpty Bond."

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

How to live ecologically without wasting power.