Egg-cellent Jokesters Gifts

Easter and Coronavirus

'We have three minutes left.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

Russian eggs.

Anti-litter by-law in effect

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"Come on, what would be the point of being a pilot fish if I couldn't wear cool pilot sunglasses?"

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

Egg ghost stories.

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

Easter Bunny

How to live ecologically without wasting power.

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

Night Deposit.

"Bond. Humpty Bond."

'I've been sitting on it for days and days and nothing happens!'

Egg.

'Heh, heh - So how does it feel to be the victim for a change?'