Egg-cellent Humor Fan Gifts

Humpty Dumpty on Break.

'We have three minutes left.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Devil tattoo.

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

Meet the layer.

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

Russian eggs.

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

"So tell me, what is it about your life that isn't making sense to you?"

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

'Okay, I give up. What do you put in your cake recipe that tastes so familiar?'

I only lay egg whites.

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

'John and Yolko.'

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

Egg ghost stories.

"Bond. Humpty Bond."

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

How to live ecologically without wasting power.

New edict: Our scones may help reduce the risk of heart attack. May. May. Same as may not. Our coffee may cause immortality.

I told Humpty to go private.