Egg Pun Lover Gifts

'No, my middle name is not Benedict!'

The Rooster Comedian.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"Anybody see where I laid... my... my... you monsters."

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

Egg!

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'Your brains are scrambled.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

Suddenly, the line went dead.

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

"What about laying long-range eggs for protest rallies?"

"Guac-A-Mole"

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

Humpty the Game Warden