Egg Pun Lover Pillows

'No, my middle name is not Benedict!'

The Rooster Comedian.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

Humpty's Mother watches her biological clock...

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Anybody see where I laid... my... my... you monsters."

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

'Your brains are scrambled.'

Egg!

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

Suddenly, the line went dead.

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

"What about laying long-range eggs for protest rallies?"

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

"Guac-A-Mole"

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."