Egg Pun Aficionado Pillows

"He's right, Humpty. You don't have a leg to stand on."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

hard-boiled egg...

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'I think I know what makes you tick!'

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

"Sir, we've intercepted a transmission regarding a large shipment of eggs, but it's scrambled."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"There weren't any more clown fishes at the pet shop, so they got me - a jester fish."

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

I'm sorry, but your drug screen results disqualify you as an employment candidate, You see, sample 'A' is a normal brain, sample 'B' is a normal brain on drugs, and sample 'C',,, Well, Mr, Dumpty, sample 'C' is your brain,

"Guac-A-Mole"

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

"I'm afraid you have only three minutes to live."

Humpty the Game Warden

"Like most of your proposals Pinkley ...it ain't gonna fly!"

'I get a lot of job offers..'

What on earth are you doing? Well, you wanted battered sausage, didn't you?

"Blessed are the Greek, for they shall invent olive oil."