Egg-cellent Joker Gifts

Humpty Dumpty just fell off the wall. Should we call for your horses and men? No, tell the air force to scramble.

'It's so hot, I've been feeding the chickens ice cubes just to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs!'

Humpty Dumpty and the forgotten cow.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'We have three minutes left.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

A pony throws its rider.

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

'So, the egg WAS first.'

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

'So tell me, what is it about your life that isn't making sense to you.'

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

Meet the layer.

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Jack the Ripper.

"Okay, that's one pizza with all our toppings and one without."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

Russian eggs.

"So tell me, what is it about your life that isn't making sense to you?"

Anti-litter by-law in effect

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Okay, I give up. What do you put in your cake recipe that tastes so familiar?'