Egg-cellent Joker Gifts

'It's so hot, I've been feeding the chickens ice cubes just to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs!'

Humpty Dumpty and the forgotten cow.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'We have three minutes left.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

A pony throws its rider.

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'So, the egg WAS first.'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

Meet the layer.

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"Okay, that's one pizza with all our toppings and one without."

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

Anti-litter by-law in effect

Russian eggs.

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

"If you can't see it on my apron, we don't have it."

When the prey becomes the predator.