Edward Lear Enthusiast Gifts

'Oh God! It's that dreadful pig we met on our honeymoon last year.'

"You're going to hate yourself."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Super Student

Hanging off every word...

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

....And there is the wood a piggy-wig stood, with a ring at the end of his nose.

'Dad taught me how to tie my shoes, and I taught him how to program the computer.'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

"Always remember - what happens in the pea-green boat stays in the pea-green boat."

"I didn't learn anything in school today but I'll learn twice as much tomorrow."

"Okay, so I got rid of the owl.."

Lancelot put to the Test.

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

'Nevermore.' (quote the raven, feeding pigeons)

"So you can do your homework. That's why you have to learn to read and write."

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Yum Yum

'V. K. Duvine and Prodigal Son (if he comes back)

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

The Tell-Tale Heart 2: Lost Phone On Vibrate

'Abandon Sheep.'

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

Learning.

'When you created the world, Lord, did you know that Miss Rabone would be able to fit the whole thing into one geography test?'

'I'm your dog, Sir. Would you teach me some old tricks?'