Elmore Leonard Fan Gifts

"Would you mind?"

Trial by Media

"That'll be five bucks."

Under pressure.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Pete Sampras

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

The Rise of Modern Art

"Feel better, dear?"

....And there is the wood a piggy-wig stood, with a ring at the end of his nose.

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'Oh God! It's that dreadful pig we met on our honeymoon last year.'

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Ginger God

Arrest of La Tuta

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

Super Bowl 2012: The NFL finds a way to appease displaced ticket holders.

'Ok, best two geniuses out of three.'

"Imagine there's no heaven. . ."

"Okay, so I got rid of the owl.."

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

"Just how powerful of a fan did you put in your computer?"

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

"Always remember - what happens in the pea-green boat stays in the pea-green boat."

"He always get emotional when th super bow;'s on and the end of football season is finally here..."

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

Containment Cops

'I called them, and told them what you were going to do tomorrow! '

Idenity Parade.