Shearing Enthusiast Gifts

'Abandon Sheep.'

Just the usual, thanks.

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'Sheep striptease'.

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

"For Trog, the discovery of the skewer far outweighed the discovery of fire... Incredible!"

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

Sweary Chef - A bad tempered chef swears at the fish he is about to prepare and the fish swears back.

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."

'Wow, you got Bob! Lucky you, he's definitely the best shearer around!'

"Shoo!"

'How long has it been since you had a shearing?'

Shoveling Snow

"I'm a hunter, gathering isn't in my job description."

'I need just a hair cut off this.'

"I wish sometimes that we'd never domesticated the damn things."

"Good job, except this is my car. Yours is back there."

The snow shovel is Joe's winter dance partner...

'Just so you know, you're doin' it wrong.'

'Wow! How'd that Moses kid shovel our driveway so fast?'

"Having trouble with that paper shredder again, Barry?"

"You're doing that all wrong."

'Think of it this way - we're job creators.'