Shearing Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Abandon Sheep.'

Just the usual, thanks.

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

'Sheep striptease'.

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

"For Trog, the discovery of the skewer far outweighed the discovery of fire... Incredible!"

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

Sweary Chef - A bad tempered chef swears at the fish he is about to prepare and the fish swears back.

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

"Your resume is impressive, Phillips, but I just don't think you'd be a good fit for us."

Oog is good at sharpening sticks, but he doesn't know when to stop. You can quit now, Oog. You've made your point.

Shoveling Snow

"Shoo!"

'Wow, you got Bob! Lucky you, he's definitely the best shearer around!'

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."

'How long has it been since you had a shearing?'

"I'm a hunter, gathering isn't in my job description."

I never know what to get mom for Christmas. It's simple. Free shipping. I always choose something cool that she wouldn't get for herself. Oooo

'I need just a hair cut off this.'

The snow shovel is Joe's winter dance partner...

"I gotta flat. Can you get the spear our of the trunk?"

"Good job, except this is my car. Yours is back there."

'He's passionate about swearing.'

"I wish sometimes that we'd never domesticated the damn things."

'Just so you know, you're doin' it wrong.'

'Wow! How'd that Moses kid shovel our driveway so fast?'

"Having trouble with that paper shredder again, Barry?"