Shearing Specialist T-Shirts

"I wish sometimes that we'd never domesticated the damn things."

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

'Sheep striptease'.

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

Virgin wool - 'Clippers On a first date What kind of ewe do you think I am'

Cat with all the hair he has ever shed

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Celebrating Spring Can Be Shear Hell

"Would you look at that! Timmy was overwhelmed at the thought of his first shearing, but now, he can't stop talking to his friends about it. . ."

'Just the usual, thanks.'

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

Wool jumpers: Meet the author

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Will you be posting this on ewe tube?"

'Abandon Sheep.'

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe'."

'Wow, you got Bob! Lucky you, he's definitely the best shearer around!'

In and out trays for ironing.

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."