Sheep Shearing T-Shirts

'Just the usual, thanks.'

'Abandon Sheep.'

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

"He's always like this on a Monday morning"

Sheep shearer discovers wolf in sheep's clothing.

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'Poor Danny - every sheep shearing season he got in trouble!'

"Think for yourselves!" Shorn would finally die in a dead-on collision with Charlie the Mohawk Cow.

Landowner Counts Sheep

'Boy it's hot today: I'm looking forward to shearing time...'

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

By accident they washed me with a conditioner

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."

Celebrating Spring Can Be Shear Hell

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Support group for sheep.

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Sheep Ledger

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Going Down?

"It's harder to 'lead from the middle' than I thought."

"You can always count on me."

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

Sheep are sheared and then shown a mirror.

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'Sheep striptease'.

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

'I'm banging out some bitchin' bleats!'