Starting A Shearing Business Gifts

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'Sheep striptease'.

Virgin wool - 'Clippers On a first date What kind of ewe do you think I am'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

"Would you look at that! Timmy was overwhelmed at the thought of his first shearing, but now, he can't stop talking to his friends about it. . ."

Celebrating Spring Can Be Shear Hell

'Just the usual, thanks.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

Wool jumpers: Meet the author

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

'Abandon Sheep.'

"Will you be posting this on ewe tube?"

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

"Well, from what I heard, he was a dog-groomer before he became a shearer..."

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe'."

"Anything for the weekend?"

Woolverine.

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."

'How long has it been since you had a shearing?'