Novice Shearer Gifts

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

'Sheep striptease'.

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

Virgin wool - 'Clippers On a first date What kind of ewe do you think I am'

"Would you look at that! Timmy was overwhelmed at the thought of his first shearing, but now, he can't stop talking to his friends about it. . ."

DIY expert.

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

Celebrating Spring Can Be Shear Hell

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

'Just the usual, thanks.'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

Down at the Local Baa-Baa Shop

Wool jumpers: Meet the author

"Will you be posting this on ewe tube?"

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

'Abandon Sheep.'

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe'."

Oog is good at sharpening sticks, but he doesn't know when to stop. You can quit now, Oog. You've made your point.

Woolverine.

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."