Sheep Shearer Gifts

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'Just the usual, thanks.'

"Will you be posting this on ewe tube?"

"He's always like this on a Monday morning"

Sheep shearer discovers wolf in sheep's clothing.

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

Virgin wool - 'Clippers On a first date What kind of ewe do you think I am'

Celebrating Spring Can Be Shear Hell

"You have to WANT to conquer your fear of shearing, Milton!"

"I was mugged."

"Well, from what I heard, he was a dog-groomer before he became a shearer..."

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

Wool jumpers: Meet the author

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"The price is for the neck up, anything else is extra."

Elton Coiffeur.

Landowner Counts Sheep

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...

'Poor Danny - every sheep shearing season he got in trouble!'

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

'You know, our barber really sucks.'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

EWE 2.

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

Sheep Ledger

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Going Down?