Educational Outreach Gifts

I got an A in despair.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Barb's such a fast reader."

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

Somewhere in France - John O'Dowd jests away his junior year abroad

Piorities in Minnesota.

'I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for school custodian.'

Cut out and keep your own Einstein.

"Take us to your diversity outreach consultant."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"I'll go in and look at stuff, but I won't read any signage."

"These are the scientists behind some of your favorite preservatives."

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"The school board, meeting in regular session, was able to work everything into the budget except the teachers."

No, when I say this is a teaching hospital, I mean it's completely full of traumatized teachers.

'Alphabet soup. This isn't nutrition. It's education.'

"Why is it called History. Is it becasue they didn't believe her story?"

Natural history museums for children.

Ancient Egypt. What's the first principle of Egyptian archeology? "Follow the mummy"!

church

"Public opinion appears split between those who support the public school system and those who can afford private schools."

"Almost 30 percent of teachers assign extra reading during Hispanic Heritage Month."

The Texas School Book Depository

Additions to the Rainbow Curriculum

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat's Witness. (Published previously on March 18, 2008.)

Back to School Bucks.

Astronomers Without Borders.

"Reboot, Robert."

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

"Hello – we're going door to door today to spread the word of science."

'Don't you think you should get involved in some volunteer work, Bernie?'

Back To School In Kansas...

'Obama telling our kids to study? Will the nightmare ever end'