Educational Envoy Gifts

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Continuing education.

Interdisciplinary studies.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Three more years of high school."

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Paranormal A-Z...

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Staff Yearbook

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'It's not for homework. It's for traction.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'