Educational Envoy Pillows

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Interdisciplinary studies.

Continuing education.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Three more years of high school."

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Paranormal A-Z...

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

Common Core Family Therapy

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'It's not for homework. It's for traction.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'