Educational Captain Gifts

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

The Giamatti era

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"This is just a model, but you get the idea."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Verbal Orders

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Spock's expertise in M&A deal making was key to the formation of the Federation.'

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'