Campus Captains Gifts

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

Captain steering house through flood.

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

I drive, therefore I am.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

The Giamatti era

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Verbal Orders