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At the Smart Bomb Academy.

A Puppet Named Juan

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

Math Teacher

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

'And in conclusion.'

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

String Theory for Beginners.

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

Party Schools...

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'