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Kid to kid about boat: 'Must be one of those charter schools I keep hearing about.'

Speak n Spell - Pirate Edition.

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

'First the birth canal, and now preschool! Where does this all end?'

A teacher in mortar board and gown

'You guys have been bugging me for weeks for a mark update. Well, here he is, and he's fine!'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

'It's not a designer pin. It's actually a medal the Principal gave me for backing up my hard drive.'

'Everybody's grades are down, Dad -- I think the school's having some kind of austerity program.'

Students getting marked letter grades on foreheads. 'It's the beginning of another marking period at Highland Community Schools.'

Old McDonald, first grader, fails English.

A Puppet Named Juan

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

String Theory for Beginners.

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

K-9 Garten

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'Could I see you after class?'

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'