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5/3rds of the class don't understand a word I'm saying about fractions.

'Your lectures cured my sleep disorder.'

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

Teachers' Support Group...Formerly Teachers' Lounge.

To student teacher: 'First off, always identify and corral the ring leader...'

'Can I text it to you later?'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"Good news, Mrs Jackson. Your son isn't dyslexic after all... He's just palin stupid!"

"I've never been in there. Most of my down-time is spent in the Principal's office."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

Party Schools...

'Jack has two apples and three apples. That adds up to six.'

'There's been a slight mistake. 1542 wasn't the average SAT score - it was the number of students who took the test.'

'Ready for your performance review?'

Teacher to other about broken book on broken ground: 'It's a heavy subject for him.'

"Hitler's first name? I think it was 'Heil' Miss."

'Stop whispering and passing notes at the back of the class! James - see me at the end of this staff meeting.'

A Teacher and his Students.

A Puppet Named Juan

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'And in conclusion.'

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'People, get a half-life!'