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"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Dipped into Principal.

A Puppet Named Juan

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Master's Degrees of the Universe

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

String Theory for Beginners.

Billy strip: help with homework.

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

Party Schools...

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

'But my mom says that 40 is the new 30.'

'It's not a designer pin. It's actually a medal the Principal gave me for backing up my hard drive.'

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'

Old McDonald, first grader, fails English.

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"I dreamed I was being chased by a giant standardized test."

Graduated Cylinders...

'That's it?'

"You can't be needing another break - the kids have only been back a week!"