Education Conference Attendee Gifts

A Puppet Named Juan

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

U of Debt

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Chaos Theory Conference.

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'Pick a business card.'

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

"Psychiatric convention"

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

"Remember this? One sweetheart of a deal!"