Edu-tweeter Pillows

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

The Proust of Twitter

Bird Tweet.

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

tRUMp, Pirate President

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

New Course At The New School

"Our goal, boys and girls, is to learn as much about our brains as the on-line retailers know."

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

"#skydiving"

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

My Fair Lady Twitter

"No you can' 'google' number seven!"

The twittering president.