Edgy Eater Gifts

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

"Is it free-range?"

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

'Rob is a vegan.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'