Edgy Eater Prints

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

View to the Future

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

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Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

"Is it free-range?"

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"