Eclectic Eater Prints

'Our cuisine has moved from the eclectic to the schizophrenic.'

Pizza Express Take-away

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

"You'll like this place. The food is eclectic without being schizophrenic."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

'It's an acquired taste!'

"Presenting a Few of New York Curiosities"

Spaghetto

'I think we should eat out in the hotel tomorrow dear.'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Trendy cuisine marches on..' 'How's the ostrich?' 'Tastes like swan.'

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

'I eat them myself, and I can assure you that beetles are even better than ants.'

Yard Sale hunter finds a treasure!

How to sell healthy food...

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

Explorer's Club: 'Rule one - when you eat a hamburger, don't ask what's in it!'

"Without social media how would everyone know that I was vegan?"

'Amazing what you can get on eBay.'

"We've got some tasty specials today! Our cooks' brother is a veterinarian..."

"It's bird's nest soup rare!"

Jim checks his breadbox inbox.

"I'd like the spaghetti surprise."

"Well, what sort of customers did you expect if all you ever learned to cook was bamboo shoots?"

'First, you saute the blubber - then you deep-fry it in penguin pancreas...'

'We're planning an organic barbecue- what have you got that goes with road-kill?'