Earthy Eater Gifts

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"Is it free-range?"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'Rob is a vegan.'

"How 'local' is the fish?"