Ecumenical Entertainer Gifts

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"Extreme miming"

St. Elmo's fired.

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

The ten ammendments

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Don't you ever knock?'

Applause

'We are gathered here...'

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

Pottery Slam

"It also doubles as a karaoke machine."

Wow. You're amazing!

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

'Sorry, Bobo. With all the e-mailed jokes today, office clowns are passe.'

Tom Waits.

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

'It's girl power - she sacked her manager.'

"O.K., so no animals were harmed, but were they adequately compensated?"

"I get great reception this way."

"Unless you can prove their training was cruelty-free, you don't have a chance in this business."

Papal Pranks

Bishops with headgear of increasing size.

Mime artist - "Ok! I'll talk!"

There's no need to behave like a wild animal...but it's FUN!!!