Ecclesiastical Humorist Gifts

Bishops with headgear of increasing size.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Monk Prompt

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

How's my sermon. . .

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

"...and in conclusion..."

'Even More Disciples'

The ten ammendments

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

Bishops Snooker

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause