Ecclesiastical Entertainer Gifts

Bishop rocking in his church.

'We are gathered here...'

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

"Extreme miming"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Support group for sheep.

St. Elmo's fired.

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

The ten ammendments

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Don't you ever knock?'

Applause

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

Pottery Slam

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'See if you can get them to flambe the check, too.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

Landing That Tough Account

'Sorry, Bobo. With all the e-mailed jokes today, office clowns are passe.'

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

Long Speech Alarm at Company Dinner

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

Tom Waits.

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

'Here's something you need to hear...'

Man with Yoyo, "He was never over-lavish at entertaining clients."

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

"Wow. Tough cloud."

'The boys in accounting used to give me a hard time about ordering a $1,000 bottle of wine - until I invited them along.'

Dangerous Populist Pope