Economy Prankster Pillows

"The most important feature of economic predictions is trying not to laugh while making them."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

A few Halloween costume ideas.

"We're a pharmaceutical company. We should be getting 'pharm' subsidies."

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"EINSTEIN! Stop fooling around and pay attention...."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

Misfortune cookies

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

"They call the dollar stable and you know what's in the stable."

"Pearson is known for his austere monetary views."

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

"Is that a fixed-rate scowl or is it adjustable to the current interest rate?"

'I'm sorry, honey, but your dog Scraps has gone on to a better place now. I sold him to that family across the road with an inground pool.'

Department of Commerce, Economic Forecasting, Division of Estimates & Alibis

Bank Checking and Savings. It's a new policy, sir --- There's a substantial penalty for any kind of withdrawal.

'You have stock market fever.'

'You used to be an investment consultant, Fred -- what should I do with this quarter I found?'

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

"With the downturn in your housing market Earth Scum! We would like to buy your planet!"

'The numbers should look better this quarter since they've been photoshopped.'

"I understand that you cannot support the whole economy, minister. I would be perfectly happy for you to support me!"

'Prefer to say 'p*****g it back into the economy'.'

"The combined total of major-league batting averages was down three and a half points today. Outs outnumbered hits four to one, on a total of fourteen hundred at-bats."

'You said you were after a creative tax lawyer.'

Man inflating a Sterling pound sign

'We're both collecting Social Security. But my husband supplements our income by losing money in the stock market.'

'Right, now put it all in my savings account.'

Bank teller says: 'Wouldn't it be great if all this money was real?'

First Infidelity Investments

"May I please have a signed receipt so I can write off the loss on my taxes?"