Economics Novice Gifts

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in Japanese.'

"First time pruning?"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Today we learned to count to one.

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

Creating dummy corporations for dummies.

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

A happy poor man is given money by a rich man and is no longer happy.

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"Triple whammy."

"What part of 'keep it bipartisan' didn’t you understand?"

"Despite countless assurances from his wife, mother and 'foodie' friends, Ed still did not trust the crock pot."

Absolutely No Credit

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

'Hey, this is nice! You should see my starter cave!'

Happy House Daycare. Family-owned & family-run since this many years.

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

Stuff Broken

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"It's a pretty standard contract - just sign here below, ' ... and hung by the neck until dead.'"

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Zero interest CDs! Why pay taxes?

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

'Let's face it,Edgar.you and mother nature don't have anything in common.'

Napkin Writer

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."