Economic Stress Reliever Pillows

'Have you tried s****ing yourself?'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Counting ribs

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Turn, turn and turn.

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

Fight or Flight

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

Mind-Fullness

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Cat in a flap

Meat Grinder

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

"I feel your pain."

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

Fittd shēt

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

Nervous Oral Testing

Clients who show up early for an appointment are really annoying ??" especially when you work from home.

Tossing computer into canyon.

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'