Economic Stress Pillows

"I find it hard to perform in these market conditions."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'I'm going to have to let you go.'

'We'd like to default on the bill.'

The Circle.

'I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress.'

'This is your new office.'

'Ironically, before I fell on hard times, I was a professional wine taster.'

"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."

'I'm a redundant bank teller.'

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"I always put things off until the last minute."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

'Creepy, yes. But on the other hand, he's never missed a deadline.'

'This should be done within the next ten minutes because our company will go bankrupt in about fifteen minutes.'

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

"I've decided to move back in with my parents."

AcmeVending 'Getting you through the hectic day!': Coffee, Tea, Hot Chocolate, Antidepressant.

'Did you tell the kids they could have a yard sale.'

Credit Crunch.

Worried about the future? We have worst-case-scenario funds!

Man looking incredibly dizzy