Economic Security Gifts

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- Does it have portable benefits?'

"I'd feel a lot better if I had $41,568,946 in my checking account."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

The Anti-Agent

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

37 years in the same position.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Will work for ETFs

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"I see you've security marked your property."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

The Scanner Of Love.

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."