Economic Pessimist Gifts

'So when I couldn't pay the mortgage, the bank offered me this rescue package!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Tom's last day.

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

"Die alone"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

Learning from economics

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

How Supply-Side Economics Works.

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

'We can tell the public, ' the good news is we've eliminated the middleman, The bad news is we've eliminated a lot of other jobs.''

The Dungeon

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons that the dollar...'

'. . . What if we sell Britain as an offshore platform to the EU and lease it back from them?'

'Turned out nice again.'

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'