Economic Disaster Detective Gifts

British savings accounts

Mario Draghi

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

Euro Bomb

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

Pandora Papers

The turbulent euro.

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

"Perkins, sometimes consistency is not a virtue."

'What gives you the idea we're on a sinking ship?'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

Insurance PremiumsGrowth Chart,

Cubans against annexation to the USA

It's more insolvent abuse from an unpaid creditor.'

'I can't understand why nobody ever goes wit my investment ideas.'

Cluster Catastrophe

'I warned them! I told them the sky is falling! The sky is falling! But, this time nobody listened.'

"Don't do anything rash, sir - The government gave us two more weeks to get into compliance!"

"All the signs were there. I should have known the company was headed for a nose-dive."

'That's one sick animal, Mr Ioannou. I reckon it'll take 10% of your savings to get it on its feet again!'

'Come on, Bunny, I know you're in there....somewhere!'

Russia cuts Nord Stream

'Business is so bad even the shoplifters have stopped coming.'

'If you are looking for a job in a growth industry, how about being a Bailiff...?'

"When European workers are losing their jobs because of an Asian stock market crash - that's the meaning of 'Globalization'."

"Now, if you all could make your way downstairs, we'll continue to look at these sales figures."

'It's a terrible time to be an Estate Agent.'

Occupied America

'I know your check was for a hundred dollars, Mrs. Rafferty... but the dollar declines 10% while you were waiting.'